Is This Normal?
The chaos that is the KerbersArchive for parenting
Welcome home, Mommy!
When I talked to Dave from Springfield last night, he told me that the kids would be very excited to see me today when I got home. But I had no idea how right he was!
When I walked in the door, I realized that the kids were downstairs with Dave. As I started down the steps, I heard Dave say, “I think someone may be home…” Then the screaming began. “MOMMY!” As I hit the basement floor, Ben threw himself at me for a huge hug, and Emma was soon to follow. They both came back for more hugs and kisses repeatedly in that first few minutes. That awesome reception surprised me. But even more of a surprise was how often the same scene has been repeated today. While I haven’t gotten any more screams out of the kids (not necessarily a bad thing) I have gotten LOTS of hugs and kisses and have been told over and over that they missed me so much.
I had a great time at the conference, and really enjoyed reconnecting several professional relationships. But nothing compared to today…coming home is always a treat, and this time it was even more so.
Parent/teacher conferences
Today was parent/teacher conference day at school. The kids got to sleep in while many of the teachers worked harder than they normally do.
While this is easily one of the most dreaded days of the year for most teachers, we librarians absolutely love it! Conference day is one that we get to work absolutely uninterrupted, and it’s so nice to actually get some projects done. We did have to go to a morning meeting, but it wasn’t too long and it was a small group of other librarians, so it was not bad at all.
Believe me; I remember having conferences all day very well. It wasn’t all that long ago that I sat at one of those tables trying to convince parents that their students were either doing really well, or needed to do a lot more to be successful. Neither scenario is really all that great. So these days, I try hard not to rub it in that we get the day to work on our own without dealing with parents much at all. Some teachers appreciate our situation, and others just whine about it to us. I always say the same thing, “Hey, they’re offering classes at ISU to become a librarian…you’re free to take them and then get hired somewhere so you can have this one beneficial day!” That usually shuts them right up.
It got me, too!
Ugh…there is nothing worse than Mommy getting sick! But I couldn’t avoid it, and yesterday and today I have felt miserable. I haven’t been nausious, or had a fever, but I literally feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack truck. I have had no energy at all, and even when I am out of bed, I end up laying on the couch and falling asleep. I have slept more in the last two days than I have in the last two weeks, I think! It sucks.
I hope that I can go to work tomorrow, because Emma is still full of fever, and she’ll be staying home with Grandma. They certainly don’t need me home sick, too! I just hope that this will be our entire round of sickness for the winter. Wouldn’t we be lucky to have that happen…
Thank you, Christopher Columbus
We all know that there is a lot of controversy surrounding Christopher Columbus and his “discovering” of America. He, according to most accounts, was a bigoted, self-centered jerk who was only looking for glory as opposed to a man exploring for the sake of science or discovery. I can’t really say that giving him credit for finding one of the best countries in the world seems really fair.
However…that being known, there is still one day every year I absolutely love ol’ Chris. You got it, it’s today…Columbus Day. Columbus Day (or our first real day off of school) always seems to get here just when you need it most. The newness of school has worn off, and the first quarter is almost done, and the day-to-day routine has become just a little bit too routine. Then comes this glorious three day weekend, just when we need it.
Today I took the kids to the babysitter in order to have the day to “get stuff done”. I felt guilty about it, but I knew that it was necessary in many ways. I had a million errands to run, laundry to do, and I really needed to sort through the kids’ clothes to get all of the summer clothes put away and all of the winter clothes inventoried, washed up, and put into their dressers. None of those things could have been done with the kids here. So, I dealt with the guilt and set out. I did get all of the previous chores listed, and I even had time to make an apple pie with the apples we picked at the apple orchard. It was a great feeling to get so much done.
Although the guilt never did completely go away, today was a really great day. Thanks, Chris…I needed it!
Toot, toot! It’s coming…
Can you hear it? The potty train is comin’ down the track! Yesterday when I went to pick up the kids I heard the big news…Emma went pee pee on the potty! She really didn’t seem too excited by it all, but boy, the big kids were! They were running around celebrating like crazy. I would have to say that I had mixed emotions. I was excited and proud of her, but also kind of dreading the whole process starting all over again.
I’m pretty sure that Emma doesn’t really get the idea at all yet. Put her on the potty, she’ll go, and she’ll get a big smile on her face about it. 
She actually really likes going, but I think a big part of that is the thrill she gets when she unrolls and tears off the piece of toilet paper. But it’s obvious she doesn’t have any idea of how it feels before she goes, so I don’t know that the train will be taking off from the station any time soon. We decided we’d start putting her on the potty more often to try and catch her before she goes in her diaper or Pull-up. Maybe the light bulb will click on, and suddenly she’ll get it. We’ll see what happens.
The last day of summer
Today is my official “last day of summer”. Although I’ve been working all week, school actually starts for us teachers on Monday, so now there’s no turning back. I decided to work very little today, since I have worked really hard the whole week. So instead, I’m getting a pedicure this afternoon. Sure, it’s kind of self-indulgent and frivolous, but I don’t get them very often anymore, so I think starting school again is the perfect reason to give myself a treat.
It’s hard to do this kind of thing without feeling guilty anymore. I remember back in my single days in Naperville I would get pedicures all the time. It was no problem for me to spend that money on myself. Now, it’s almost impossible for me to justify such a thing. Dave’s always telling me to do nice things for myself, but I just have a difficult time doing so. I constantly think about things we coud be doing for the kids with that money. I suppose it’s something that every parent goes through. I mean, the expression “mother’s guilt” didn’t come from nowhere, right? I don’t want to be a martyr, but I do want to do everything I can for my kids. Now I just have to find the balance between doing for them and doing for me. One would think that I would have found it in 4 years, but it doesn’t seem that it’s happened yet. Soon, I’m sure…
Wellness
This morning was Ben’s 4 year wellness visit with Dr. Peters. Luckily Theresa is on vacation this week, so Emma could go to her house while Ben and I went to his appointment. It’s always nicer to just take one of them to appointments like this, because the one who is not involved in the appointment is just bored and that usually means he or she is just naughty. This trip, however, was a breeze. Luckily, we’ve only had very positive trips to the doctor, so Ben loves going there. It’s really cute watching Ben interact with Dr. Peters now. He can answer his own questions, and he knows what’s going to happen. He was very concerned about Dr. Peters tickling him, and he wanted me to make sure to tell him that Ben didn’t want to be tickled. I said, “Buddy, you can tell him that yourself.”
“No,” Ben said. “I just want you to tell him.” But, as soon as Dr. Peters came into the room and started talking to him, Ben blurted out, “I don’t want to be tickled this time!” Dr. Peters agreed with a big smile on his face, but I think there was a tickle or two in there when he was feeling Ben’s abdomen.
As usual, everything looked great with Ben. He’s growing like a weed and seems to be in very good health, which is always a relief. But this visit was a little bittersweet, because it was our last one with Dr. Peters. He’s relocating to the St. Louis area at the end of August, so we’ll have to switch doctors. We’re switching to Dr. Jani, who Dave and I have both seen before with the kids when Dr. Peters was full the day we were trying to get in. We really like him, and we’re confident that he’ll be great with the kids. But it’s hard to change, too. Dr. Peters was the first doctor to check our kids when they were teeny tiny. He answered all of our silly new parent questions, and he did so with kindness, compassion, and without making us feel stupid for asking. I was worried about choosing Dr. Peters as Ben’s doctor since he is a General Practioner rather than a Pediatrician, but I’ve never questioned our decision since that very first visit. We’ll miss him.
An actual babysitter
Tonight we sheduled dinner out with our friends Dan and Glenda Stewart. Dan was Dave’s best man at our wedding, and it had been far too long since we had seen them. For any of you who don’t know, Dave’s best friend from high school Mark was killed in a grain bin explosion when we were 20. Dan and Glenda are Mark’s parents, and Dave stayed close with them even after Mark’s death. So when it came time to choose a best man, Dave knew he wanted Dan.
Anyway, we finally got our schedules connected, and planned to go out pretty early to beat the Saturday night restaurant rush. Typically we can make plans whenever we want because Aunt Theresa is always happy to have the kids over for an evening. However, Aunt Theresa had her high school reunion tonight, so she couldn’t babysit. I convinced Dave to let me have Danielle’s daughter Grace come babysit for us. I knew we’d feed the kids before we left and we’d be home before their bedtime, so really it was the perfect babysitting job to break her (and us) in.
Dave was a bit nervous about it all, but I was really proud of him. He didn’t freak out too much, and he kept himself pretty calm. The kids were really excited to have Grace come to our house. They never even thought twice about us leaving…it was bye Mom and Dad…have fun!
Of course everything went fine. The kids had a ball and Grace handled things beautifully. I’m so happy we had such a great first time experience with a non-family member babysitting. It was a good thing for all of us, I think.
Garage sale woes
Next week we’re having a huge garage sale. We’ve decided that we’re done having babies, so we’re getting rid of all of our baby stuff. This includes baby clothes (of course I’ve picked out some things from each kid that I just had to keep), bouncy seats, a pack ‘n play, the high chair, the double stroller, the jungle gym, the rocker glider and footstool in Emma’s room, the baby bathtub and a million little baby related items like bottles, sippy cups, silverware and burpcloths. Then we move to toys. I don’t feel like our kids are totally spoiled, but when you start sorting through them, the stuff they’ve outgrown or don’t play with anymore adds up really quickly. Throw in some random household things from the basement and office and stuff that Dave brought from the farm, and we’ll be lucky to fit it all in the garage!
Of course it’s been a lot of work pulling stuff out and hauling it up to the garage, but I’m afraid that the real stress is ahead of me. I’m having a hard time figuring out how to price things. I want stuff to sell, and I’m really not doing it for the money, but yet it’s hard to just give away nice things that were hardly used or worn, too. I’m struggling a bit. Right now I’m thinking that I’ll put most of the clothes on a table with a sign that says “All Items $1.00″. Then on another table I can put the more special or nicer items with individual prices on them. I haven’t decided for sure if that’s my strategy yet, but I do think that would probably be the easiest. It would also make for an easy check out with my math deficient brain!
I know that this is all a process, but it’s been more difficult than I thought it would be, and I think that has a lot to do with my pricing dilemmas. Getting rid of all this stuff is just so final. We’ll never use a bouncy seat again…or an infant bathtub or even a high chair for that matter! It makes me sad, even though I’m thrilled to have the space we’re freeing up in our storage area. I have a feeling that next Friday will be a challenging day for me.
Playdate craziness
Today we brought Ali home from preschool with us. Her mom had to take her brother to a doctor’s appointment in Peoria, so she was asking us for a favor, but it was a great opportunity to have her over for a play date. The pick-up went great. It was actually a lot of fun listening to them chatter with each other in the backseat. We came back here and I made lunch. That all went really well, too. The three kids (Ben, Ali and Emma) all ate well and again they chatted between each other. It was so cute. Then, everything changed.
After lunch we went outside to play. Three different times in the next hour or so, Ben had hysterical screaming fits and ended up back in the house on the couch. I felt badly disciplining him when his friend was here, but he was acting very inappropriately and I just didn’t feel like I could let it go. All three fits were because of something really tiny…and all of them basically centered around him not getting his way. It was super ugly behavior, and I hated it. Luckily, Emma was having a grand time with Ali here, and the two of them were getting along famously.
I hate these kinds of parental decisions. I obviously know that I couldn’t just let him have a tantrum and then get his way. But man, it killed me to have him crying so hard when this should have been a fun play date. The thing is, when Ali’s mom came to pick her up there was another crying fit because he didn’t want her to leave. I thought that four was supposed to be better than three. Ugh…you can’t win for losing with this parenting thing.
