Is This Normal?
The chaos that is the KerbersArchive for marriage
Happy anniversary, Grandma and Grandpa
Everyone makes such a big deal over big, fat, round anniversary years. At 10 years, everyone I know goes somewhere together to celebrate. At 25 years, there’s usually some kind of get-together or party to celebrate. Then comes 40 years, for some reason a real biggie, it seems. I can remember my grandparents’ fortieth anniversary party very well from my childhood…it was a par-tee!
Well, this year is Mom & Dad’s 49th wedding anniversary, and while many people don’t think that’s a big deal, I have to disagree. They’ve gone through 49 years together as husband and wife…almost five decades, people! I can’t even imagine! And while I know that next year will bring all the fanfare with the 50th, I hope they know how much I respect and appreciate their marriage now, even though no one may be making a big deal out of it. When I talked to Mom today, she said that this was, “just like any other day.” But I have to disagree…a 49th anniversary is definitely not like any other day.
Thanks for everything you do for us, Mom & Dad, but more importantly, thanks for the great example you’ve set for all of us. We love you…happy anniversary!
Happy birthday, Daver!
Today is the anniversary of my best friend and husband, Dave, being born. In honor of his birthday, I’ve come up with 41 things (can you guess how old he is?) I love about Dave.
41. He wears shorts 10 months out of the year.
40. He likes landscaping, and keeps our house looking great.
39. He’ll always read Emma a book when she brings it to him.
38. When he really cracks up, his whole body shakes.
37. He lets Ben help him work with him as much as possible.
36. He can figure out technology problems when I can’t.
35. He will research and study a product until he knows what will be best for us.
34. He makes me yummy breakfasts on the weekends.
33. He will do anything for his siblings or parents…even when they don’t ask.
32. He has patience with the kids when I don’t.
31. He compliments my cooking all the time.
30. He truly wants me to do more things for myself.
29. He wants to go back to school.
28. He still loves to go on dates with me.
27. He rubs my back until I fall asleep many nights.
26. He likes my friends.
25. There is very little he can’t fix.
24. If he doesn’t know how to fix something, he’ll read and study to figure it out.
23. He likes Liz Phair as much as I do.
22. He’s getting more and more sarcastic every day.
21. He would literally do anything for our kids…anything.
20. When Emma sees him come home from work, her face lights up.
19. When anything breaks, Ben is sure that Daddy can fix it.
18. He will always play cars, trucks, or action figures with Ben.
17. He’ll stand between Ben and Emma, each on a swing, pushing one with each hand.
16. He can handle emergencies much better than I can.
15. He is a whiz with tech support on the phone…and he always gets his way in the end.
14. When he’s motivated, he can get more done in a day than most.
13. He tries to stump me with movie quotes all the time…
12. …and he’s still impressed when I get them right.
11. He truly appreciates my love for cheesy movies.
10. He thinks my elbows are soft.
9. He makes me laugh almost every day.
8. He loves Kadzilla, his old Cadillac madly.
7. Upon seeing some old cars, he’ll say, “You’d look great in that car, Hon!”
6. He wants to take our kids all over the country to show them how beautiful it is.
5. He’s more impressed with a little gesture than a grand act.
4. He’s very sentimental with his things.
3. He wants to keep everything the kids bring home if they made it.
2. His priorities are the same as mine.
1. He really has no idea what a wonderful dad he is.
These aren’t really ranked in order of importance to me…they were just typed in as I thought of them. Happy birthday, Sweetheart. I truly think my life is better because you’re in it.
Dave’s dream come true
My voice is gone. I’m not sure how it happened, really, but throughout the day today it got lower and raspier, and now I can barely squeak out a word. This is really nothing new for me…almost every time that I get a head cold I end up losing my voice for a short time. What’s unusual is that this time my cold just started and I’ve been doing everything “right” to stay healthy. I have even been going to bed early so I’m getting more sleep than usual. Nonetheless, I’m now voiceless.
I don’t think this is really Dave’s dream come true, but I’m sure that he’s not the only one who may enjoy that I’m vocally challenged for the next couple of days. Thank goodness we only have one more day with students!!
Date night
Dave and I had a date night tonight (well, really more like a date afternoon since we went to the matinee), and we saw a movie that you have to go see…now! It’s Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood’s newest. He produced, directed, and starred in it, and truly it is awesome! What I love most about the movies that he produces and directs are the complex characters and unpredictable plots. I was genuinely surprised by this movie. From the previews I had seen, I really thought I knew what the movie was about, but I was so wrong. The story grows and evolves and the ending is neither predictable or expected. Eastwood’s character made me cringe, laugh, and cry like a baby. This was one of the best movies I’ve seen in a really long time.
The really amazing thing was that we had a really hard time deciding which movie to see today. There are so many good shows out right now. The more we discussed what to see, the more difficult our decision became. “It’s Oscar season,” I kept saying to Dave. And this year, that really is the reason our choice was so tough. For the first time in a very long time, all five Best Picture nominees are movies that I really want to see. I just wish I’d get to before the Oscars actually take place. Maybe another year…
Random things
On Facebook, there’s a popular tag game going on where you list 25 random things about yourself. The idea, obviously, is to let your Facebook friends know more about you. I thought maybe some of you non-Facebookers could be interested in these, too.
1. I never thought I’d be living the life I am as a wife and mother. It’s a pleasant surprise.
2. I truly feel like I married my best friend, but there are times I wish that we’d waited a bit longer to have kids so we could have done more as a couple before the responsibility of parenthood came along.
3. My kids inspire, frustrate, teach, entertain, and surprise me every day and I value them as the most important thing in my life.
4. I love being a teacher and I really feel that I’ve changed some of my students’ lives, although I miss having close relationships with my students like I did when I was in the classroom.
5. I currently have 5 close friends named Amy, 3 of them being an “Amy M.” and 2 of them being an “Amy S.” To top it off, 3 of them are named Amy Jo!
6. I’ve always wanted to be able to play the piano. I am completely jealous and impressed by someone who can sit down and make beautiful piano music.
7. I know that I am way too emotional, yet I have a very difficult time controlling and hiding my emotions.
8. My extended family is full of wonderful people, connected by blood and marriage. I feel extremely lucky having grown up with my cousins so close that we were like siblings.
9. As a child I was always afraid that we were lost, and I learned how to navigate and read maps very well because of this fear.
10. I’ve always hated having a “boy name” so I made sure that my kids’ names were gender specific.
11. I love my minivan, and I’m not afraid to admit it! It makes me feel like a grownup.
12. I feel like my spiritual life was changed forever by the death of my grandpa when I was 12.
13. I feel truly blessed to have grown up in such a tiny town in farm country, even though I know there were things I missed out on because of it.
14. I don’t think I have a single secret that absolutely nobody knows. I love that feeling, because it tells me that I have wonderful, dear old friends who will never judge me.
15. I am loyal to a fault, but once I’ve been wronged by someone I consider a friend, it is difficult if not impossible to win back my trust.
16. I can clearly remember the first time I experienced Tivo, and I think my life is both better and worse because of it!
17. I am a little envious of our seniors every spring, because they have so much fun and adventure ahead of them in college. I loved that time of my life.
18. I am often all bark and no bite. I also like to be the center of attention around close friends or family, but am quite shy in groups.
19. I miss my old hair, which was straight, almost every day. I wouldn’t trade my kids for anything, but why oh why did having them have to make my hair curly?
20. I still have “Grant Street spirit” which was fostered by a wonderful cast of characters who lived in my childhood neighborhood. I still miss the house in which I grew up.
21. I love to watch my kids with their books. It makes my heart hurt to see the love of reading grow in them. I can’t wait to share my favorite books from childhood with them.
22. I feel like a failure when my kids have meltdowns or act naughty. It sometimes humiliates me.
23. I wish I took more time for creative activities like I used to when I was single, and I can’t wait to do them with my children. Creating art is good for my soul.
24. I’m proud of myself for becoming a part time professor at ISU. I like knowing that I play a small part in other teachers becoming school librarians.
25. I can’t really imagine things being any better than they are right now. I look forward to each new stage my kids enter while desperately trying to hang on to the one they are in right now.
The Illini game
Thursday afternoon one of my assistant principals came into my office and asked me if I’d be interested in two tickets to the Illini vs. Wisconsin basketball game on Saturday. His parents have season tickets, and apparently no one in his family could go to the game. I called Dave, and we decided to go. Dave had never been to a game at the Assembly Hall, so I was really excited to experience it though his eyes.
I was shocked, though, that he wasn’t very excited about going. I couldn’t believe it! I definitely had the impression that he just agreed to go because he could tell that I wanted to. But…we went. And of course, within five minutes of being in the Hall, Dave turned to me and said, “I’m so glad that we came, Honey. I really wasn’t sure that I wanted to, but I knew you did, and now I’m so glad we did.” Shew! That’s so like Dave…hesitant to go do something, but in almost every case, he’s very happy that he did it.
It was a good game…not great, but it was a victory, which is the most important thing. The Jesse White tumblers performed at half time, which is always a great show. And, we had Papa Del’s pizza before the game, which is always a good thing. But most of all, it was a really nice day spent with my husband. We don’t get enough time alone together these days, so we both really enjoyed each other’s company.
As for the Illini…they’re in sole posession of 2nd place in the Big Ten right now, which is awesome! We have a big game coming up vs. Minnesota on Thursday, so Go Illini!!!
Date night
Dave and I had a date tonight. We actually went to a movie…what a treat that was! We saw Four Christmases with Vince Vaughn, who is one of our favorite actors. It was actually a very fun movie, and we both liked it a lot. I have to say, after seeing it, though, I can’t complain about either of our families ever again! :) It probably won’t stay around in the theaters much longer since the holiday season is officially over, but check it out if you get a chance, and definitely rent it when it’s released to DVD.
I know eventually we’ll get to see more movies. For now, though, I’m going to appreciate every chance we get to get out alone together.
New Year’s Eve
This holiday has never really been a big deal to me. We rarely have any plans, and to be honest, I often don’t even stay awake to midnight! But it is definitely time for me to reflect on the year that was and the year that is coming up.
2008 was the year that:
- We lost Dave’s Aunt Ruth
- We finished our basement
- Ryan had ACL surgery
- Emma turned 1
- Emma learned to walk
- We made the move to a minivan
- We discovered the public library
- Ben turned 3
- We spent a lot of time at State Farm pool
- Ben mastered swimming alone with his swimmies
- Dave and I both turned the big 40
- Ben started Sunday school and preschool
- Our basement flooded
- We lost my Uncle Jim
- I started this blog
- Ben got potty trained
- Emma got 4 stitches on her forehead
As you can tell, there were many more good things than bad this year, for which we are thankful. I hope that we can always remember the good things, and think about the lessons we learned from the bad. As everyone always says, the year flew by. It is so true that the older you get the faster they go. Sometimes I just want to slow things down so I can soak in everything that’s happening around me. Of course, other times I want to speed up time…but just when the kids are making me crazy!! 
Who really knows what 2009 will bring our family. A few of the things I’m looking forward to are:
- A trip to Vegas with school friends in January
- A trip to Florida (we hope) over Spring Break
- Tearing down our deck and building a patio
- RyRy graduating from high school and starting college
- Celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary
- A new challenge at school when my current coworker retires and I begin working with a new media specialist in August
I’m sure there will be so many more joys and challenges for the Kerber family in 2009, and I look forward to finding out what they are. May you all have a safe and fun night tonight, and have a healthy and happy new year.
Happy birthday, Uncle Rod!
What a bummer to have your birthday on the day after Christmas. I’m sure that Rod’s had many “double gifts” over the years. But hopefully he knows that this birthday wish comes separately from all of the activities of yesterday. I’ve always felt lucky to have Rod as a brother-in-law. When I was single, he did hundreds of “guy things” to help me out. Yesterday he did something (I don’t remember what exactly) that was just like Dave does. I said to him, “you are so like Dave…you two are peas in a pod.” His reply was, “well, you knew what to look for when you were searchin’ for a man!” And actually, in a way, he was right. I’ve always admired my sister’s marriage and both of them as parents. I hope that we can do as well over the years.
Have a great birthday, Rod!
I’m thankful
Ahh…Thanksgiving. It’s my absolute favorite holiday. There’s no pressure to find the perfect gift for anyone, there’s very little commercialism, and all you really have to do is make some food, eat yourself silly, and hang out with people you love all day. It really is the greatest. So today’s post is about what and who I’m thankful for.
The top of the list is easy…I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family in Dave, Ben, & Emma. There are times that I sit and watch the chaos in my household and I can’t believe it’s my life. There was once a time that I had given up on finding someone to share my life with, and the thought of having kids seemed like an impossibility. And now, I feel like I have been blessed more than I deserve. Seriously, how could anyone ask for more than this:
I’m also very thankful to have such a big, boisterous extended family and to have an eclectic, yet fantastic group of friends. And not just those friends who I’m lucky enough to see every day. I have friends who mean the world to me even though I rarely get to see them. I don’t think that most of my friends can possibly know how much they truly mean to me.
There are literally hundreds of things in my life that I am thankful for…way too many to mention here. But especially today, I’m taking the time to think of them all. I hope that I can continue to be thankful throughout the year, and not just this one day in November.
