Is This Normal?
The chaos that is the KerbersArchive for November, 2008
Birthday bash meltdown
Yesterday we went to Sycamore so we could all go out to dinner to celebrate Grandpa Scott’s 70th birthday. Ben was so excited to go…he loves going to Grandma & Grandpa’s house. The visit started great…we played and watched a video of Ryan in the Mr. Spartan contest…Sycamore High School’s male beauty pageant. It was very funny, and Ryan was named Prince Charming (which is basically first runner up) while his bff Sam was named Mr. Spartan. It was great.
So anyway, we leave for the restaurant and all is good. We get there…and things seem to be going ok. Emma continuously wanted to stand up in her high chair, but she’s 19 months old…that happens. Ben was eating chips like crazy, and seemed happy enough. Then came the meltdown. I’m not really sure what set him off, but it was a toddler Sybil moment. He went from sweet little boy to raging maniacal crazy child in seconds. Literally, Dave had to take him out to the lobby and then later I had to take him outside just to make the screaming and crying stop. It was horrifying and humiliating. We went back to G & G’s house and he spent some major time crying on the couch in the back bedroom with a sore bottom. And of course, later, when we went to bed, we second guessed everything we had done from the minute we got to the restaurant to the minute he went to bed. Like I said before, it was a tough night for us, too.
Why is it that we, as parents, get so worked up over our children’s behavior? I just want Ben to behave and I want everyone to see the sweet side of him that we get to see so often. Is that so much to ask?? I know that a lot of it is just him being three, but I worry so much that we’re either: a. too hard on him or 2. not disciplining him enough. How do you possibly find the happy medium that teaches your children to have manners and good behavior? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…this job is hard!!!
Proof that we did make a recovery
Another big day
Today was another fun-filled day for us. Dave, Ben and I went to pick out our Christmas tree this morning. Since Indian Creek Tree Farm is closed this year (Thanks a LOT, guys!) we had to go somewhere in B/N to pick out a tree. We chose a place that had the trees inside their greenhouse, which was pretty nice. And Ben was very excited to pick “the very bestest one” for us. Of course, we did.
Later, after nap time, our good friends from Naperville the Madzinskis came to visit. We had a little bit of a tumultuous time at our house, when Ben exposed some sharing troubles, but overall it was a good visit. We went for dinner and then to Make A Mess, a “children’s fun center” here in town. The boys (Jack, who’s 4½, Ben, and Charlie, who’s almost 2) had a great time running around and wearing themselves out. Poor Emma didn’t get to join in the fun again, as it was getting close to her bedtime and she was just too tired to go. She had to go home with Daddy and go to bed.
It was a really great day…one that ended with some seriously tired kids.
I’m thankful
Ahh…Thanksgiving. It’s my absolute favorite holiday. There’s no pressure to find the perfect gift for anyone, there’s very little commercialism, and all you really have to do is make some food, eat yourself silly, and hang out with people you love all day. It really is the greatest. So today’s post is about what and who I’m thankful for.
The top of the list is easy…I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family in Dave, Ben, & Emma. There are times that I sit and watch the chaos in my household and I can’t believe it’s my life. There was once a time that I had given up on finding someone to share my life with, and the thought of having kids seemed like an impossibility. And now, I feel like I have been blessed more than I deserve. Seriously, how could anyone ask for more than this:
I’m also very thankful to have such a big, boisterous extended family and to have an eclectic, yet fantastic group of friends. And not just those friends who I’m lucky enough to see every day. I have friends who mean the world to me even though I rarely get to see them. I don’t think that most of my friends can possibly know how much they truly mean to me.
There are literally hundreds of things in my life that I am thankful for…way too many to mention here. But especially today, I’m taking the time to think of them all. I hope that I can continue to be thankful throughout the year, and not just this one day in November.
Happy birthday, Grandpa Scott!
The Big 7-0! Woo hoo! Please don’t think that the lateness of this post means that I wasn’t thinking about you all day today. It was just a busy one, and this is literally the first chance I’ve had to sit down and type a birthday greeting. Dave asked me how old you were going to be earlier this week, and when I told him 70, he said, “your dad is the youngest 70 year old I’ve ever seen in my life!” I couldn’t agree more. We’re so lucky to have you as a father, a father-in-law, and a grandpa. We all hope you had a great day today, and can’t wait to celebrate with you on Saturday. Love you!
I did NOT have the time of my life
So when you’re planning to go to see “Dirty Dancing” on stage, you have certain expectations. Sure, the movie was campy, but we all loved it. And Johnny Castle in those little black wife-beater shirts…mmm mmm good. I’m disappointed to report that it just didn’t translate to the stage. It was not your traditional musical where the main characters burst into song to show their hopes, dreams, and feelings. It was basically the movie on the stage. Here are a few of the problems I had with the show:
1. Johnny Castle was British. Yes, BRITISH. With the accent and everything. Ok, he tried to do an American accent, but he was not very good at it. He didn’t fool anyone.
2. The sound went from ok to obnoxiously loud several times throughout the night. Now, I know I may sound like some old coot complaining about that noisy rock and roll music, but it was LOUD. Like painfully loud. And we were in the very back row of the theater.
3. There was a part of the set that went up and down many times throughout the night. It was a railing that signified moving from the main resort to the employee’s housing. Every time it went up or down while there was no music playing, you could hear the mechanics of the thing. And again I tell you…we were in the very last row of the theater. Can you imagine how loud it had to be on the floor?
4. Lastly, and this is my favorite, Baby’s dad stumbled and fell while he was going up some stairs to leave a scene. I literally could not stop giggling about that one.
In its defense, there were some good special effects. The scene when they practice the lifts in the water was very cool. There was a screen in front of them with water on it and it did really look like they were standing waste high in water. It’s difficult to explain, but it was cool. I know that the show hasn’t gone to Broadway yet, but the whole production had this community theater feel to it that worried me for it’s Broadway run. I have a feeling it will be a short one…once all the 35-40 year old women who loved the movie have seen the show, who else would possibly want to?
On a more positive note, dinner was fabulous, and I did have a ton of fun spending time with my old friends. Granted, our conversations are much different these days; focusing on toddler behavior and parenting strategies much more than anything else. But hanging out with Amy, Carrie, and Rachel was totally worth the money spent and the 4 hours in the car!!
Big show = big excitement
So in two days I’m going to see Dirty Dancing in Chicago with my friends Amy & Rachel, and another friend Carrie is joining us for dinner before we go. It’s ridiculous how excited I am for Saturday night. The four of us used to be practically inseparable, but now that we each have two kids and I live 2 hours south of all of them, our time together is much more rare. It’s really amazing to me how much anticipation for something can make every part of your day seem so much better. I just can’t wait!!
Look out David Cook
Last Sunday, at our friend Ali’s birthday party, there was a karoake machine. Ali’s mom Addie handed Ben the microphone and said, “here you go, Ben…sing something.” He said, “ok” grabbed the mic, and belted it out.
Then she said, “when it’s time to sing Happy Birthday, you can have it again.” And he did.
I couldn’t believe it…he is his Mommy’s son.
What a weekend!
Ben's favorite thing
We had the busiest but most fun weekend we’ve had in a long time. We drove up to Sycamore Friday night to Grandma Judy & Grandpa Scott’s house. We weren’t there long when Brett, Curtis, Ryan & his girlfriend Maggie came over to visit and play. Brett even got to spend the night there with Ben. For some reason it’s so much fun for them to sleep on Grandma’s pull out couch. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they don’t have to go to sleep until everyone else in the house does! There are a lot of great things about staying at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, but one of the best things is having all the personal attention from both Grandpa Scott and Grandma Judy.
Someday...
On Saturday morning, we spent more time with Grandma & Grandpa and Brett. After nap time, we loaded up and headed to Geneva to get together with some old friends Tom & Becky and Dan & Lisa. Tom, Lisa and Dave all went to Parkland together, and have stayed good friends since. And, incidently, Lisa is the person who introduced Dave and me. She and I went to high school together, and basically, she’s responsible for all of this craziness in the first place! We will always be grateful to Leese.
But, I digress. The evening with our friends was very fun, and Ben loved playing with all the toys that Tom & Becky’s son Cole has. He even got to play his first video game against Dan & Lisa’s son Bennett (who is in 5th grade, so he cut Ben a break). I can’t remember the name of it, but Ben calls it the “racecar drive game”. Basically, he was driving a car down city streets and trying to avoid other traffic and obstacles. It was pretty funny watching him ram into the siderails at 175 mph, but I’m pretty sure we won’t be getting any new PS3 games anytime soon. Emma had fun, too, although since many of Cole’s toys were tiny Lego-type things, we spent a lot of the night grabbing things out of her hands and mouth. It’s tough to be the littlest one sometimes.
Overall, it was really a great weekend, but boy are we beat!! This seems pretty warped, but I’m actually kind of looking forward to work tomorrow to get a break!
Who knew peeing would feel this good?
Holy cow, I can’t believe the last 24 hours we’ve had! So you all know we’ve been working on potty training…again…for the third time. Last night when we got home from Danielle’s I set the timer and we were all happy as clams. When the timer went off, signaling it was time to sit on the potty, all Hell broke loose. Ben literally went ballistic…crying, screaming, and letting out these guttural sounds like something out of the The Excorcist. It lasted for at least 10-15 minutes and in that time, we went from “I don’t want to” to “Going potty is NOT good” to “AAAAAAGGGHHHHHH”. I literally didn’t know what to do. This was not my sweet little boy who is usually so eager to please. Dave got home from work to join in the fun, and somehow we convinced Ben to calm down and get up in his chair for dinner. We also somehow convinced him that we would just leave off his pants so he could go into the bathroom and go pee-pee whenever he was ready. Now, I know what many of you are thinking (Mom) and believe me, I would not have ever thought that we’d resort to having him sit and eat dinner naked from the waste down. BUT…it totally worked! About halfway through dinner he got a little smile on his face, scootched his chair back, hopped down, ran into the bathroom and by golly he went potty!! We were all so excited. Well, Emma wasn’t really into it too much, but the rest of the family was thrilled!
He went again later in the evening while I was up putting Emma to bed and he and Dave were sitting on the couch reading a book. Again he flashed the little grin, got off the couch and went in to do his business. It was awesome. But the kicker of the night came later. Dave put him to bed and about 20 minutes later he heard an urgent “Daddy!” from Ben’s room. When he hurried in there, Ben said, “I have to go potty”. Dave said, “have you gone in your diaper yet?” and when Ben said, “no” they rushed into the bathroom, got everything off, and he went again! This was after he had been laying in bed, when he was almost asleep, and while he was wearing a diaper.
Now I know this probably doesn’t make you all that excited. In fact, I’m sure that there are many of you chuckling while reading this. But let me tell you, I was never prouder of my little guy. It was like this light bulb going off inside him and me. All he needed was a little control over the situation, and things went so much better.
I wonder where he gets that from???
Freezing days and Mondays…
So I wake up this morning with the worst headache. I hadn’t had an inkling of one coming on yesterday, but BAM, here it was. And it was bad. So bad that my kids paid the price for it with my complete lack of patience this morning. So bad that I ended up coming home at noon, taking a ton of the good drugs (you know, the ones you have to get straight from the pharmacist, and not from the aisle) and slept the entire afternoon. Ick.
Thankfully my wonderful husband picked up the kids from the babysitters for me. But, the report when he got home wasn’t good. Ben wouldn’t go potty today for Danielle. I don’t know if he just refused of if he just went in his pants all day, but either isn’t good. Just when I thought things were going well with the training, here we go again. He’s also started saying things like, “I don’t know how to do that!” or “I don’t want to do that!” whenever we ask him to do something. Where in the world is this coming from?
I can’t help but wonder if my bad morning had a direct affect on Ben’s day. I mean, things were going so well, and then we just have a huge setback day. And seriously, with all the trouble we’ve had training him, and when he starts acting so naughty I just feel like such a failure. I worry that my kids are going to turn out to be those kids that no one wants to be around. I fear that I’m turning into one of those moms who laughs off all her kids’ bad behavior. And then before you know it, there’s a British woman named Jo showing up at my door.
I know that I’m just having a bad day, but jeez…can a mom catch a break already? I feel like we try so hard with the kids, and sometimes I just don’t know what else we can do.
Does every parent go through this?
